Are we disobedient to our parents?

Question
As-Salamu `Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)
I am a married woman and I have three unmarried brothers. My mother has died two years ago and my father is a day laborer and he does not work if he has money. If he finds money, he drinks wine and returns to work after losing money; it should be noted that he has married for the second time.
His problem is, if we give him money, he spends it in forbidden things (wine drinking), so I and my brethren decided not to give him money except in the time of need even if he is in dire need of money!
We are obedient to him, but he exploits our need to his satisfaction to tell us that he is not satisfied and we are disobedient to him. Thanks to Allah, we do not make him pay anything on the house expenses such as water and electricity bills as we are paying them.
He says to us: You are walking away from me, leaving me alone without giving me money. If we stay with him, he prevents us from maintaining the ties of kinship with my relatives such as paternal uncles, maternal uncles, and relatives because he has major troubles with them.




Could you kindly tell me how to behave with him? Are we mistaken in withholding that money?
May Allah reward you the best.

Answer
All praise be to Allah and peace be upon His Messenger, upon his family, his Companions, and those who follow him.
May Allah reward you and your brethren for your keenness to be obedient to your father and to spend on him for the sake of Allah. Rejoice at glad tidings as reward is part of deeds. It was authentically reported from the Prophet (peace be upon him) that he said: "Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth and that his lease of life be prolonged then he should keep good relations with his Kith and kin." Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim from the Hadith of Anas. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "There is no worthier guilt for which Allah hastens punishment to its doer (in the world) along with the punishment of the Hereafter than cutting the ties of kinship, betrayal, and lie. The most accelerated reward for a righteous deed is given to maintaining the ties of kinship to the extent that the family of a house would be poor but their money and number increase if they maintain the ties of kinship."
[Reported by At-Tabarany].
You have done well, may Allah bless you, that you pay water and electricity bills for your father and buy him his needs without giving him money. You and your brethren should continue doing that and do not leave your father without expenditure, but do not give him money so as not to help him do forbidden actions. However, bring him food, medicine, and so on, and if you do, there is no harm on you in things which your father says or the accusations he claims of leaving him alone; how will it be while he lives with his second wife?
Seek the reward from Allah, observe patience for these permanent problems, and maintain the ties of kinship with him. It is not hidden from you the proofs that warn you against filial disobedience and cutting the ties of kinship in general, so a reasonable person should beware of them so as not to fall into Hell-Fire
If this has been taken into consideration, there is no obedience to the father if he commands you with cutting the ties of kinship even if they have problems in between. It was reported in Sahih Al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim from the Hadith of Ali ibn Abu Talib who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "Obedience is required only in what is good."
In another narration: "No obedience for evil deeds, obedience is required only in what is good."
It was also reported in Sahih Al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim on the authority of Ibn `Umar that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "It is obligatory upon a Muslim to listen (to the ruler) and obey whether he likes it or not, except when he is ordered to do a sinful thing; in such case, there is no obligation to listen or to obey."
Invoke Allah frequently to expand your chest for goodness and the truth and to make him repent of wine drinking; advise him gently and softly, and choose the suitable time for that.
May Allah Allah grant us and all believers an acceptable action.